disillusioned fae

lullaby_villain @ 2008-09-03T22:17:00

2008-09-04T02:21:55Z

yes, i am still breathing.

♥

lullaby_villain @ 2007-10-04T02:12:00

2007-10-04T06:13:12Z

maybe i'll remake myself into something worth loving.

then, you'll see.

Pagan Art Competition

2007-07-06T14:47:24Z

The Pagan Alliance announces an art competition. We are seeking an image that embodies the theme of the 2008 Pagan festival, "We are change." The winning entry will be reproduced on our posters, post cards, and advertising in a variety of media. Given that we are soliciting digital entries, artists who work in other than the traditional pen/paper/paint/canvas media can be considered.

More information about competition rules and a PDF entry form can be found at this URL:

http://thepaganalliance.org/pdfs/entryform.pdf

Please forward this to any artists you think might be interested and any Pagan list to which you belong. We are hoping for entries from throughout the Pagan world, not just Northern California. All entries will be featured in a slide show to be presented by the Pagan Alliance at Pantheacon 2008.

Thanks.

faerie zodiac deck

2007-07-01T07:14:45Z

currently, i'm working on a 12 card deck of zodiac faerie cards for intuition and insight. the first six have turned out surpisingly beautiful. i'm excited. this will make a gorgeous gift.

Heathen Devotional Art Project

2007-05-28T04:07:26Z

Please Circulate Widely:

The Gods are Everywhere if only you look for Them.

The 30-Day Altar Project is seeking contributions. The goal is to create an international cross-representational series of altars displayed in public places all over the world dedicated to Norse/Germanic Gods and Elemental Deities. This will eventually be web based and viewable to all.

How it works. Focus on one trait or aspect of one of the Norse Gods or Elemental Deities that applies to or is needed in your life at the moment. Meditate on this charachteristic and God for a minimum for five minutes a day for thirty days. During this time, look around you for items you find in your day to day life that symbollize this charachteristic. Items used may be found, owned, or given and the only limits are your creativity. If you must buy something, it should be of nominal cost (less than about $10 USD). Collect the items. At the end of the 30 day period, you will install an altar in a public place of your choosing. Photographs and interviews will be shared on our pending website.

Anyone can do this. You don't need to be an artist. Challenge your kindred to all give it a go, involve your older kids and teens, post to your regional elists, print out this post and put it up in a local pagan shop or pass out at your next religious gathering. Forward this to all of your Northern Tradition friends. The idea is that it is diverse and represents a wide range of people's experiences living Heathen faith, so that we may enrich one another and give thought to the way that the Gods are part of our everyday lives.

Check the below site for submission guidelines.

http://altarproject.livejournal.com/

Feel free to friend this account to your blog, as the blog will be used to announce project updates and additions.

Please direct any questions to altarproject@gmail.com

Thank You

lullaby_villain @ 2007-05-03T04:56:00

2007-05-03T08:58:03Z

self control is so fucking hard.

anyways. that little boy of mine. he's precious. i luv him!
maybe soon we will be walking? i think so!

lullaby_villain @ 2007-04-01T12:59:00

2007-04-01T17:04:10Z

realization is sometimes a very specific thing. and i've come to this. come to accept that my passion has become lackluster. i need assistance repairing all the damage that has been done to my heart. everything i love seems so far away sometimes. almost just barely out of reach. and i want it so bad.

lullaby_villain @ 2007-03-23T01:18:00

2007-03-23T05:27:07Z

well. things are very wonderful with work. i got the position in our web department as a net rep. now i am working in ecommerce and loving it. i have been there two weeks and i feel like, aside from a few adjustments, i am doing quite well. it is a very nice group of people. and it's quiet. i like quiet. also, my schedule is more set and i get off by a least ten every night.

i regret to say i haven't had much time for anything. i needed more time for myself to study beauty and devour intellect. this hasn't been very possible. but i have both saturday and sunday off from work. so i will be reading. creating.

i got a new book tonight on moon magick. lovely. lovely. i barely skimmed through it, and i'm excited. i have always wanted to get this book but never have. i have found many recipes and there were a couple of rituals i have looked at. i would like to go to earth gifts again, soon. i may be able to go this weekend. i would love to buy some pretty crystals.

psyche plaque

2007-03-13T05:19:07Z

i have fallen in love with this.
www.witchesmoon.net

lullaby_villain @ 2007-02-10T13:05:00

2007-02-10T18:05:52Z

there are many things i would like to say.
but time escapes me. once againe.

i am still breathing, though.

lullaby_villain @ 2006-11-12T02:25:00

2006-11-12T07:25:54Z

i have started assembling old photographs of my grandfather when he was a little boy and young man into a memory book as a gift to my grandmother for the holidays. i've finished one page already and i really like how it's comming along. tomorrow i would like to look for some embellishments and charms to add a special touch to more of the layouts. i really want to work on gaige's baby book but i've been meaning to do this for over a year and i'm working with a deadline on this project.

things are going wonderful at work so far. i just got my biggest paycheck ever. this payperiod i got $790 and a bonus early-year-end check for about $75 dollars. i'm also really happy right now about how things are going for jay. i love when he tells me how good his day at work went or how much he enjoys his job. i am so proud of him. his mother is comming down to visit for thanksgiving and i'm so nervous. but i'm excited because she will get to see our baby for the first time ever and he is just too charming and flirty, how can anyone not fall for him?

so many things to do tomorrow. i probably can't get away with doing them all. but i can be certain to try!

lullaby_villain @ 2006-11-08T11:22:00

2006-11-08T16:22:33Z

i've made a decision to put away at least 800 a month from now on towards moving out and expenses associated with furnishing a home. if everything goes as expected, i'll have close to 10,000 next year. and that isn't including any kind of tax returns, bonuses, or extra money i may be able to add to that savings amount. if i wait another year, i could have 20,000 plus. i feel uncomfortable staying here for longer than i need to, though. but i really need some kind of solid security for myself. i don't want to take any chances.

lullaby_villain @ 2006-10-04T22:51:00

2006-10-05T03:08:10Z

at some point, i start to wonder if this is just too good to be true. next week our levels get advanced from order entry to customer care associates and everyone on my level gets a 50 cent raise. also beginning on october 22, we start a flex scheduling plan to eliminate mandatory overtime-- though i, personally, love overtime. there is an incentive, however. super flex personel, which i signed up for, are given an extra dollar onto their base pay. i just had my first meeting with the coordinaters and it didn't seem so bad. i had a 87% for quality and a 78% for compliance. i have realized that every minute you are late or early counts againt you for logging in and also aux time. i didn't realize comming back and logging in early from break would hurt your compliance score. at least now i know what the issue is and i'll be able to pay more attention to my breaks an get a higher score next month. i am also very excited to get my check next thursday-- i'm curious as to how much all the upsales add up to. i'm very nervous about the new screens in cca so i am feeling kind of apprehensive towards that. but i really don't get so many problem calls as i do orders-- so the change shouldn't be very drastic.

my health insurance ended in september so i have absolutely no coverage. which means i will just have to wait on seeing a psychiatrist until i can get on blue cross blue shield. i don't mind. i stopped taking my zyprexa because i felt like it was causing problems with my appetite. and i am, at the moment, very sensitive and obsessive over my weight. i have been drinking a lot of water at work, so i know that will help keep me hydrated and help me to feel better. i really hope i do well next week with cca. sometimes, things are just going so well that i start to wonder when it'll all turn upside down on me.

lullaby_villain @ 2006-10-01T02:28:00

2006-10-01T06:39:26Z

i love my job. i love my big paychecks. my 900 credit bill is down to less than 350. i feel like i am going places. and if i continue at this rate-- that means a beautiful apartment furnished with pier 1 furniture and a zanzibar nursery for gaige. next paycheck i am getting a bonus for my upsales and retropay for my night differiential. i will have a completely clean credit card and also money to put back in my savings account. found the best place to live if i can't get into spinnaker reach. ryan oaks-- so affordable and brand new. it's actually income restricted. they have the cutest little playgrounds, a gym, a pretty pool. so excited.

lullaby_villain @ 2006-09-23T01:29:00

2006-09-23T05:37:46Z

had several breakdowns today. realization of pretty much lost hope. sounds tragically beautiful, almost. but i assure you, it is not. picked up several titles on a more darker level today from the book store and also a beautiful jolly roger locket. i'm going to place pictures of gaige and jay inside. i seem to be doing pretty well with my job. i get so anxious at times. but they have already went ahead and scheduled me to be a cca and start the training class in early october, which gets me promoted up and a raise as well. next thursday i'll get to see a rough estimate of exactly how much i'll be bringing in monthly. and after the credit card is paid off, i'll be able to start planning how i'm going to go about with my budget for rent savings and furniture. this may take awhile. i am extremely partial to pier 1 and i really don't want anything less than that.

lullaby_villain @ 2006-09-16T00:24:00

2006-09-16T04:30:20Z

i've been dealing with so much stress lately. i feel like i am falling apart. sometimes i am just blank inside and i don't want to be touched. it is very similar to a feeling of clautrophobia. other times, i feel so hopeless and just expect this routine of life to continue without any further development. i have so much responibility and i'm going to crack. i have to take care of everyone now all by myself. there have been many nights recently that i have just wanted to keep myself in the bathtub for hours crying and soaking up lavander scented suds and milky perfumed water. there is so much to be concerned about now and i am having the mot difficult time coping with everything in this fragile and sensitive state.

not lovely.

lullaby_villain @ 2006-09-11T22:36:00

2006-09-12T02:45:54Z

i love autumn with all its warm magic splendor. the beautiful leaves and rich delicious spices of fall. i eagerly await the turning of the season. it makes me sad to know that we won't be in our own place this year for the harvest time. i have decided that i will just bide my time for a year and collect beautiful things to adorn our home with for the next cycle. i am searching for yummy autumn dinners and home decor. considering investing in pieces for a spooky village or getting a haunted gingerbread house kit.

lullaby_villain @ 2006-09-10T14:37:00

2006-09-10T18:39:41Z

i finally bought one of those big gorgeous olde english witch balls. it is light purple with lovely strands and webs of glass tangled inside. i'm just so pleased-- it was the prettiest one on display. also finally found a faerie star pentacle necklace. and got a tiny silver frog good luck charm for gaige. i'm keeping it in his diaper bag. jay suggested attaching a thought form to it for protection.

lullaby_villain @ 2006-09-07T22:28:00

2006-09-08T02:28:57Z

there are three great events in the life of a person: love, death and resurrection to a new life. of these love is the most important. for by love and in fulfillment of it, we may again be joined with our families and friends, remembering and loving them again. death cannot take away love or our loved ones.

without love there is no birth, without birth no death, without death no rebirth. this is the miracle of love.

lullaby_villain @ 2006-09-03T23:23:00

2006-09-04T07:38:58Z

my boyfriend got me the golden klimt tarot today and it is absolutely gorgeous. i feel like i am compulsively collecting divination decks. i'm very particular about them, though. they must have beautiful art that i am directly drawn to. i would love to have the art nouveau tarot. it is just so beautiful. i really need to work on my divination skills. i can honestly say that i haven't given myself much attention. there are a vast many things i want to experience and absorb. i am definately going to be better to myself in the future and promote flourishment. it is neccessary.

my son's current goodnight lullaby is colors of the wind.

lullaby_villain @ 2006-08-31T05:34:00

2006-08-31T10:18:33Z

i have acquired a lovely collection of sundries for my sacred space and altar. a beautiful star covered in gold-foiled leafing, natural pine cones, bronze and silver skeleton leaves, wooden autumn spheres, and a bouquet of earth-toned feathers. so beautiful. i still feel as though there is something missing from the arrangement. perhaps i will be able to gather more seasonal materials to adorn my tableau with. i have decided to take nature walks in the mornings with my son and keep a nature journal. taking photographs of beautiful things i see on our outings and recording the memories of their elements with prose and sketches. i feel like this will keep me closer in touch with myself and nature. and allow early exposure to the beauty of the earth for my son.

it will be a great relief to be on a schedule once again. i have been offered placement at a high-profile company that pays a more than sufficient amount starting off and provides promotions, coverage and bonuses. my training begins in early september and i will be working from late afternoon until midnight with weekends off. this allows me plenty of playtime with my beautiful baby boy. i was just recently informed that the company has a gym on-site that is available for their employees to use at their leisure. i was actually looking into joining a gym, but this is so beneficial. i am very much wanting to heal my body. it has been through so much stress and pain. i have also considered vegetarianism recently and have found several recipes for delicious vegan/vegetarian entrees. i would also like my son to have a more holistic lifestyle, so this is a choice i feel i should make to benefit both of us.